Why is this News?

Every now and again I run across some article that makes me hope no one actually spent money on the study it trumpets. Ridiculous: I know a grant went to the researchers. But did we really need to spend money to know that smoking is bad for you or that if you eat butter 10 times a day your cholesterol will go through the roof?

I mean, maybe if you're not a Court watcher, you find it newsworthy that the Supreme Court did its job in leaving the states alone both in the matter of the Oregon assisted-suicide case and the New Hampshire abortion case. I could understand that. But you'd have to be seriously demented to think the following counts as news:

Traffic Officer Knocked Unconcious
Look, I sincerely hope for the officer and his family that he's OK. But way worse stuff happens all the time where I live, and where you live, and it doesn't make national newswires.

Today's rant is not about the poor traffic cop. It's about the editing judgment or lack thereof of people who edit news for a living and how it's gone from bad to worse. It's offensive. It's insulting. What are we doing about this? Oh right--nothing.

Here are some more headlines from NewsNet5, a TV station in Ohio. I love these:

Man Buries Car, Reports it Stolen
Come on. Some drunk woman drove down my street in August 2004 and totalled my car and told the police someone else had stolen her car before the incident. No news crews came by about it. And I was even home all day that day. Yes, this guy's a criminal and probably engaged in insurance fraud. But Ken Lay and Dennis K. and Bernie E. did a lot worse; by a depth-of-damage ratio they should be a news headline every single day and yet they're not.

Akron Zoo Holds Contest For Naming Jaguar Cubs
You have to be kidding me. Wal-Mart won't pay its workers' health insurance, my car gets totalled, the world is in shambles, and this is news? Maybe there's something I just don't get. If my fellow Trogs (you know--both of you) feel like this is truly news, do us all a favor, email me with your name suggestions for the jaguar cubs, and I promise I'll send them to the Akron Zoo speedy quick. Hell, if it's true I'm just an imbecile, I'm just misinterpreting everything, the naming gig is probably some sort of public service. So hop to it--those cubs ain't gettin' any younger.

Sources:
http://www.cnn.com
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/6206516/detail.html
http://www.newsnet5.com/akroncanton/6154562/detail.html
http://www.newsnet5.com/akroncanton/6154562/detail.html